things we cannot do

as most of the sports world celebrates the NFL Draft (you do realize no actual "games" are being played in this thing) P.T.G. International Correspondant Mikhal Derango points out the following achievemtns from people less horridly obese than your average offensive lineman or middle reliever:

1. On Saturday Alan Webb ran the fastest mile in the world this year in a time of 3:51; which would have made him easily the coolest person in my high school gym class (note Webb went to the same high school as Duke legend Grant Hill)

2. Ryan Hall finished a respectable 7th in the elite London Marathon and is looking for a medal in the 2008 Olympics and also owns the U.S. half-marathon record of 59:43 - which quite frankly is ridiculous; even better than when I ran a half-marathon and didn't pass this Artie Lange look alike until mile 11 heard the guy say he had been out until 3 the morning before, hadn't run in ages, and then saw the same dude getting plowed at 10:30 a.m. 5 minutes after the race in the largely empty "Half-Marathon beer tent"

3. these people are just pretty much insanse but I refuse to live in a society that considers them more insanse than any person who would consider watching ESPN's live coverage of Round 6 of the NFL draft