Baseball Winter Meetings Update

Dateline: Nashville

Headline: World Series Champs trade Face of famous scribe

The Boston Red Sox have strengthened their pitching rotation by adding pitching "star" and native of fascist country Johan Santana to their rotation in return the Minnesota Twins have received the face of famed ESPN personality Peter Gammons.

"We look forward to flying Mr. Gammons face from a flagpole atop the Metrodome next year." Twins G.M. Ned Rand was quoted as saying.