2008 Previews - Rounding Out The NL Central (Assuming Ted Handles the 'Stros)

Reds --

Read this adorable post, which attempts to rationally explain why a Corey Patterson signing makes good sense for the Reds.

Whatever helps you sleep at night, Cincinnati.

Cubs --

Viable closer candidates at the beginning of camp: Four (can you name them??).

Viable closer candidates at the end of camp: Zero

Number of times in the last three years that a Cubs player has missed time due to a horrible, horrible injury: Two

Pirates -- "I'm a baseball fan...Get Me Out of Here!"

2007 Record: 68-94.

Free agents signed in the offseason: 1 (utility infielder Whosit McWhatshisface for 1 year/$1 million)

Major leaguers traded for prospects: ½ (RP Saloman Torres, who is currently suing the team over $1.5 million)

Number of rivers convenient to PNC Park for Pirates fans who want to just the pain to go away: 3 (can you name them??)

Brewers --

This team scares me.

Watch out for Bratwurst. He knows how to fight dirty, and after finishing in the cellar last year, the chip on his shoulder will be awfully big.


Answers:

Cubs--Wood (back-spasms), Marmol (wildness), Howry (ineffectiveness), Dempster (just not that good, wants to be a starter)

Pirates (this said "Reds" for a week and no one called me to complain--whew!) -- Ohio, Allegheny, and Monongahela