Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Mark Chmura is Probably on the Overpaid List


Yahoo! Sports brings you the following list: major league baseball, Who Is Underpaid, Who Is Overpaid. Pretty interesting for a lark, though more than anything it just makes me want to draft a team on MLB07: The Show and simulate 18 consecutive years of alternate reality baseball in which Hunter Pence is a Hall of Famer and Mark Chmura calls play-by-play for American Gladiators: The Next Generation.

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Wut?

The Pie Traynor page on Baseball-Reference.com links to something called "Pie of Knowledge."


The Pie of Knowledge


If at any point you figure out what in the Sam Hill it is, let me know.

And I quote, "Hey, with a website called the 'Pie of Knowledge' I've got to sponsor Pie Traynor, one of the all time greats at the hot corner."

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Friday, May 25, 2007

PTG Fundraiser


In 1997 Dave Ryan was 4 years old, his most favorite hero was Green Bay Packer Tight End Mark Chmura - please contribute to the PTG fund to buy Dave the Mark Chmura Starting Lineup figure currently for auction on ebay

please note it's currently 4:09 a.m. and the bidding ends in 10 minutes (current high bid: 99 cents) Send help now!!

Editors Note: Mark Chmura was kinda arrested for maybe having sex with girls from this high school

headline

New Basketball Coach for Southern Illinois High School

New Section Idea: WutTF?? (Headlines Only, Plz)

Hancock's father files suit

Restaurant, towing company, stalled car driver sued

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Thursday, May 24, 2007

2007 NBA Draft Preview: Tito's Revenge


some notes Larry King style leading up to the NBA Draft:

-Greg Oden will not have the immediate impact of 1997 Tim Duncan next year; Duncan played 4 years in college Oden half a year; Oden does have one "advantage" though: tons and tons of sports media / Internet hype which wasn't around in the 1997 dial-up era

-the sleeper of the draft could be Al Horford; I say this for two reasons: he's pretty good and a two-time NCAA champion and more importantly his father Tito played (very) briefly for the 1993-1994 Washington Bullets; the name "Tito Horford" became kind of a catchphrase for my friends and I for instance:

Friend: Ben, my grandmother just died.
Me: Tito Horford!!

or

Friend: Well it looks like none of us are going to senior prom.
Greek Chorus (chanting): Tito Horford's cock!!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Lince-what

I have now twice watched Tim Lincecum single-handedly embarrass the Astros, both of them matchups against Roy "Give Him a Cy Young Already" Oswalt.

Everybody compares the two pitchers. Lincy is 5'11, small for a power pitcher, Roy is 6'0 (maybe). It's a valid enough comparison, especially given Lincecum until-recent prospect/unknown status. The Giants starter's middle name is LeRoy, also. But I'm not ready to leave it at the similarities. There are some key differences:

Lincecum throws a lot harder than Roy ever did. His fastball topped out last night at 99 mph, and spent a lot of time in the mid-90s. Oswalt, at the height of his velocity from which he has dropped, pushed 96 on occasion, but never danced with triple digits.

Lincecum's delivery is equally as quick-to-develop as Oswalt's, but Lincy's rock-back and explode forward reminds me more of Kevin Brown. (Someone beat me to this idea.) Roy-O doesn't ever lose his up-down equilibrium like that. His fastball doesn't sink like Brown's, however, it's rather straight and hard. Oswalt's fastball seems to start low and rise to the bottom of the strike zone at its best. Lincy's is a power pitch through and through.

Lincy's curve/slider is a knockout pitch, straight up and down, "right off the old coffee table," as the Giants announcer referred to it. Oswalt's off-speed pitches are more delicate, bending into the zone or dipping out of it deceptively. In other words, for all of the power that Roy seems to wield, he is essentially a control pitcher, working the edges of the plate with his riser and bringing two-seamers back over the plate inside to a lefty. This is why Roy's success continues even as his velocity has decreased over the last few years. (This statement on Wikipedia: "Despite his 6 ft 0 in 185-pound frame, he is one of baseball's hardest hurlers" is incorrect).

Lincecum is a fantastic pitcher, even now. He has enough control to harness his serious heat. I predict a successful career, assuming that he doesn't blow out his elbow. His mechanics would seem to suggest lots of stress on his arm.

And he looks like he's twelve.

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Friday, May 18, 2007

LLC I


Carlos Boozer has so far been the dominant force of the NBA playoffs which is quite a comeback for a guy who had to sue Prince last year (note the name of Boozer's LLC - classic)
I've always been a Boozer fan and his dominance this spring just goes to show that a few certain people were wrong about him - who were those people? The Haters. Hey Haters I dedicate the lyrics of this song to you.

Rumors of Life on the Frozen Tundra

Hey, loyal Pie Traynor fans! Remember me? You old pal Dave? Well, in case it's been forgotten, let's not forget that I made the first ever post on this here sports blog. Granted it was one of my last, but I'm back! And I'm all charged up from my morning's Sports Center viewing yesterday which featured stories about both the Green Bay Packers and the Wisconsin Badgers football team. The earliest spring murmors of football always get me going.

First of all, yes, Favre is attending the Packers minicamp this year. I know, I know, he said that thing about wanting to see his daughter graduate, and that one time he acted like he might retire, but come on - was there any doubt? That's not what I'm here to talk about. No, I'm here to talk about Randy Moss. Locker room poision extraordinare, Randy Moss. Earlier this offseason news trickled down from Wisconsin natives via telephone and email that local news stations were picking up this bizzare story about how Favre wanted the Packers to pick up Moss. Clearly, these were lies. No one in the world would actually want Randy Moss on their team. I mean, yeah, he totally makes teams great (just look at the Vikings and Raiders!), but he's the world's biggest ass. And in Wisconsin he's hated more than a day when it snows two feet but you still have school.

This is the guy that leaves fields before games are over. This is the guy who looses a game then tells the press he wasn't trying. This is the guy that pretended to moon the crowd at Lambeau after the Vikings miraculously won a playoff game there in 2005. Packers fans hate Randy Moss. He's the exact opposite of what the great Packers teams were. He's a selfish dick while the Packers we love are humble and like a family. Just look at this quote from after that mooning incident, "Defenses don't frustrate me," Moss said. "My team is what frustrates me. A defense can't frustrate me. What frustrated me is seeing us not doing what we're supposed to do." If he was on the Packers and said something like that the entire state would go nuclear.

And you know what? He would say something like that. There would come a game (probably in the first three weeks) where he didn't get enough catches, or his cocoa wasn't hot enough, or someone asked him to show up for practice, and he would make a statement like this, and it would almost certianly be about Favre. And when he did the Packer nation would want his head. Then they would be in an uproar about why he ever came in the first place - then they'd remember Favre was the guy who brought him here, and they would fall into this loop of contradictory infalable logic - that Randy Moss is the devil, but Brett Favre (god) brought him here. (KABOOM!!!)

I am not one of those Packers fans who thinks Favre is king. I like him (I even loved him in the last four games of last season when he was playing like Favre circa 2001), but I've actually called for him to step down (strangely he didn't listen). I certianly don't want him to step down now - what with Aaron Rodgers breaking his ankle walking onto the field - but I'm afraid his legend would have been greatly tainted had he become the man that brought Randy Moss down upon us, ruining an entire football season.

(Quick side note: I came this close to buying an Aaron Rodgers jersey last season. Dodged that bullet!)

So anyways, Favre, don't be upset that Moss didn't end up in Green Bay - it saved your legacy.

the high jump


Notice how Ted's last post used a lot of "facts" and "empirical evidence" to support his point - that's all well and good if you live in a reality-based world but as our esteemed President once told Ron Suskind - "I live in a faith based world." What follows is a point I made over the phone to my cousin two weeks ago sans any supporting evidence at all.

Kevin Garnett had a great career - he's a first ballot hall of famer (insert youtube clip of Kevin Garnett dunking set to house beats here) but I feel like there was something missing from the whole experience. I remember when Garnett was on the cover of SI in 1997 being proclaimed as a cross between Charlemagne and Bill Russell; but he never made it to that Christmas 800 A.D. moment. Why? Well he never went to college.

Every single NBA player who jumped from high school to the pros could have been better if they went to college. A number of outstanding players went straight to the NBA but they could have been better. For instance:

Kobe: A lethal scorer and a three time champion but college most likely would have taught Kobe a little something about being a team player and also that raping women in Colorado hotel rooms is bad.

T-Mac: Are his well documented playoff failures a result of never having played in the pressure cooker that is the NCAA tournament.

That guy from MTV's true life that never got drafted: That was brutal. But that MTV episode had more journalistic credibility than 10 years of ESPN. (Not including the "Coors Light Six Pack Question Session with NBA anaylst Tim Legler" lots of credibility there)

But now players have to go to college for at least a year - which I believe is also going to have far reaching unforeseen consequences - that might holy lord make people hate Duke less. Discussion soon.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

An Unspoiled Arc

First off, this blog post, the thesis of which I recently discussed with Ben, has got more postulation, hypothesis, and assumption than the google chat I had with my co-worker yesterday. But it is a theory of sorts, or an observation, so on with it:

Let's look at one player: Shawn Green. I'd say that he defied expectation when, as a generally skinny dude, he hit 192 homers between 1998 and 2002. And here's the postulation part, and I could be way off: Shawn Green didn't take steroids. I'm not the first to posit this idea. Throughout his homer-heavy years, he remained slim and trim to the eye, without exhibiting Luis Gonzalez's massive biceps. This could be wrong, who knows, but for the sake of argument let's say that he didn't juice.

Given that, what I want to look at is Shawn Green's career arc. Between the ages of 25 and 29 he was a monster, putting up big homer and RBI numbers (between 24 99 and 49, 123), stealing bases, getting his walks on. A fantastic all-around player, and one of the best in the game. Sky was the limit, and he was making a lot of money.

Then, 2003 saw a drop off in power numbers, down to 19 HR 85 RBI. He had shoulder injury issues, which, rather than being incidental, actually enforce my point, which I will get to. But he had problems, and his numbers dropped, and he hasn't again regained the level of dominance that everybody had become quite accustomed to.

Here's the crux: Shawn Green entered, in 2003, the stage of his career in which he was no longer in his mid-to-late twenties. He turned thirty in 2003. Therefore, his career has been totally and completely normal.

The reason I use Green as an example is because I, as a general interest fan, felt and feel some lingering disappointment at his recent "failings." Wha happened? I ask myself. Something didn't seem right, that a guy could plummet from superstardom to the middle of the pack fairly quickly. And then, recently, it dawned on me: SHAWN GREEN'S CAREER HAS BEEN PERFECTLY NORMAL, EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT WE HAVE ALL BEEN BRAINWASHED BY THE STEROID GENERATION.

In days of yore, it was expected that a player's skills decline with age. Not so for us, the web-surfers and MLBTV watchers. To us, the normal career arc for an above average player includes a stint in the mid-30s as a horse, cashing in on the big contract he signed five years ago, and resigning for more big bucks. Keeping on plugging, doing the same things he did when he was 27, the so-called prime of the career.

A few examples: the aforementioned Luis Gonzalez, who had his best year at 33, Jeff Kent, who though he doesn't strike me as a 'roider, was much better at 37 than at 27, Jim Edmonds, his near-best at 34, Gary Sheffield, Larry Walker, Manny, etc. etc. The best players of our era are better for longer than most of the top-tier players from other eras. Duke Snider was done being elite when he was 32, to use one example.

We are shocked now when a great athlete follows the most basic of routes as a player. It seems strange, and a little tragic, that he would be able to carry through to age 40, mashing and selling his services to the next bidder. Strange times, we are in, says Yoda, and I feel in my bones that we are entering a new era in which the career curve will normalize again, and that a 37-year-old slugger will once again emerge as extraordinary, and worthy of the Hall of Fame.

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wrong

apparently Andre Kirilenko's career is alive and well

in an attempt to break ESPN's tyrannical hold on the sports world I have been watching highlights on Yahoo; this is getting difficult; click on the "highlights" section of the above link but only do so if there isn't a fork close by as the urge to drive it into your eye will overtake you

listen

if you're paying $119 to watch the Devil Rays and Rangers play baseball at Disney World - you need to take serious stock of your life; the game could be on the surface of the moon and $119 is still too much

Sunday, May 13, 2007

don't do it

Well Andre Kirilenko's career is clearly over

Saturday, May 12, 2007

notes from FLA

my father met Larry Sherry at a mall the winter after he was MVP of the World Series so clearly he knows almost just almost as much about sports as certain writers of unpopular novels who go to Arcade Fire shows and think they're cool

my father has also been a subscriber to Sports Illustrated since the early 1960's and this week marked the first time ever that he didn't know "Who the Fuck" the guy on the cover was; note this didn't stop him from sending an email to his best friend a diehard Indians fan saying the Yankees will eventually sign this guy which caused said Indian fan to go into a fit of rage

Love the Rocket


the hate "sport blogs/mainstream media outlets desperately trying to seem cool" spewed on the Yankees signing of Roger Clemens is very similar to the hate that accompanies anything Duke ever does; therefore I fully support the Rocket and the Yankees

hating the Yankees is very 2001 - their sports base has clearly been eclipsed in obnoxiousness by the twee caterwauling of Red Sox fans

and do people realize Roger Clemens was in the original R.B.I. Baseball; how in the name of Bud Selig's Milawukee Office can anybody be against someone from a 1988 NES game pitching in 2007

Monday, May 7, 2007

WWLBD

Once again Lance Berkman enters my brain and voices my thoughts exactly, on the Roger Clemens Yanks' signing:

"There are two kinds of people," Lance Berkman said. "Those people who aren't surprised, and morons."

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Friday, May 4, 2007

Billy Beane, supergenious, yawn

We all enjoyed Moneyball, okay, and yes, part of the charm was that these unknown kids possessed unseen skill.

But seriously, has a flurry of trades ever been more mind-numbingly boring than the Oakland A's mad-cap spree this past week? Brace yourselves for these Billy Beane blockbusters: Snelling for Langerhans!!! Denorfia for McBeth!!! Jack Cust!!!

The only reason I mention it at all is because most of these players have sniffed the big time, had their moment, and fallen short. They are C-list bench warmers and has-beens and probably-won'ts, not intriguing prospects. I mean, I haven't heard Jack Cust's name since he was on the Top 100 List in 2000, back when we aaaallllll thought he was gonna be big.

Eeegad, no one write a book about this week, snooze!

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Wednesday, May 2, 2007

a thousand words

Ranting Mark Prior posts notwithstanding, I was amazed to find that his career has actually been dramatized, albeit just outside the bounds of standard baseball metaphor. Enjoy (sort of):



(apparently everyone survived)

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