One Line Baseball Preview for Every Team

Cincinnati Reds: The hitting should be there, with speed in the ranks, and the starting rotation looks strong; now if only "closer" David Weathers can avoid all references to his surname in conjunction with "Stormy," "Inclement," "Steamy," or "Really Really Awful."

One Line Baseball Preview for Every Team

Boston Red Sox: Is this the year your painfully self-aware fan base become insufferably annoying? (Oh wait that was 2002)

One Line Baseball Preview for Every Team

Cleveland Indians: Josh Barfield - you can try to copy the career of your father but you will never copy his Jheri Curl

Soriano Surprise

I was combing through fantasy trade possibilities today, and noticed something interesting: Alfonso Soriano is probably better than I thought he was. Much grumbling surrounds his impatience at the plate. And while he did strike out a whole lot last year (160 fans, good for fourth in the league, Ryan Howard-MVP went down 181 times). So that's no surprise. But here's what caught my eye: Soriano walked 67 times.

For all of the talk about his wandering eye, that's a high figure indeed. Vernon Wells, who no one can seem to praise enough, only walked 54 times last year (90 K), with a minimally better OBP explained by a better average. Same goes for the OBP of Carlos Lee, though his strikeout rate is much, much lower.

All this to say that Soriano is not some strikeout freak whose career rests on the reputation for stealing bases and hitting bombs. His hitting approach has matured (albeit a little strangely), in that as his strikeout numbers have gone up, so have his walk numbers. In 2002, as a 26-year-old third place MVP vote-getter, Soriano Ked 157 times and walked 23 times.

One Line Baseball Preview for Every Team

Philadelphia Phillies: Can't Pat Burrell just use one of his pecs to fill the gaping hole he leaves in the Phils' lineup?

One Line Baseball Preview for Every Team

Washington Nationals: It really didn't take very long to turn back into the Expos.

One Line Baseball Preview for Every Team

Blue Jays: If you're depending on Tomo Ohka - that's not so good.

Euro 2008 update!!

Qualifying for the 2008 European Soccer Championships is underway. Key games next week include England-Israel and Serbia-Portugal. My Serbian co-worker predicts his country will pull out a 1-1 tie. Clearly he's already forgotten the 6-0 thrashing taken by Serbia at the hands of Argentina during the 2006 World Cup; a game which produced despondency in my office not seen since the great Printer Toner Crisis of '04.

One country not likely to pull out a 1-1 draw this weekend is the Faroe Islands. The Faroe's have been outscored 18-0 in their qualifying games so far. Of course the Faroe Islands are like the guys from "Victory" (now on sale for $3.99 at Walgreens)compared with San Marino who have been outscored 27-1 in their matches.

Note: Germany going for the sportsmanship award with their 13-0 rout of San Marino. Also Note: Germany's "sportsmanship" during World War II was also somewhat lacking.

Upcoming Euro games of note:

3/24: Greece - Turkey
3/24: Germany - Czech Republic

Games of Note for people who want to stick forks in their eyes:

3/24: Lichtenstein - Northern Ireland
3/24: Moldova - Malta

Ben and Dave at Work (Read Bottom-Up)

From: Dave Ryan
To: Benjamin Lyon
Subject: RE: Let's Post this conversation on PTG

Ha ha ha ha, that may be true (I’ve never dated a girl with My Space, so I have no point of reference). It does get a lot less interesting after your team goes down in flames (especially if your bracket is in shambles too). I’m still going to watch when I can, mostly to see the moment when Oden accidentally crushes a shooting guard’s windpipe that comes too close to the paint.

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From: Benjamin Lyon
To: Dave Ryan
Subject: RE: Let's Post this conversation on PTG

most of the “best” teams usually advance pretty far anyway – like this year where all number 1’s and three number 2’s are still alive and I don’t think a 5 beating a 4 is an upset – it’s just that I’ve suffered too many crushing losses in the tournament to every fully love it again; watching it after your favorite team has gone down is like breaking up and still checking the myspace pages of your girlfriends friends

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From: Dave Ryan
To: Benjamin Lyon
Subject: RE: Let's Post this conversation on PTG

You lost me at “bobo teams” (which is pretty good, since it was the last thing you wrote).

You’re right about the best teams often not winning, which is bad, but it’s also the way it is. Teams know the tourney exists and they prepare for it, and it’s the standard, so isn’t the “best” team the team that gets in the tournament and wins it all? It’s sort of like saying the Badgers had a better shooting percentage so they should have won the game – it’s just some artificial set of rules that means UNLV won because they scored more points. (I don’t really think that, just playing devil’s advocate. A devil who loves single elimination tournaments.)

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From: Benjamin Lyon
To: Dave Ryan
Subject: RE: Let's Post this conversation on PTG

I thought about the amount of games as well but all college players play on AAU teams in high school and those teams play tons of top-flight games over a weekend at some of the bigger tournaments

Also somehow the top seeds could be reward for having to play less games – of course none of this would ever fly because people like the simplicity of the brackets – there is no doubt the NCAA tournament is by far the most exciting thing in sports but it’s also the worst at awarding the championship to the actual best team – last year the NCAA champ Florida lost to the NIT champ South Carolina twice during the regular season and the N.I.T. is for bobo teams

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From: Dave Ryan
To: Benjamin Lyon
Subject: RE: Let's Post this conversation on PTG

You can’t hurt Bucky – he does push ups on a board hoisted by male cheerleaders. Every push up instills invincibility in his waterproof fur. I also prefer series playoffs instead of one game eliminations. It’d actually make the whole thing take far longer, so you should really suggest that to CBS. Of course, that would result in the championship teams playing up to 18 games over the course of a month or so, which could kill some people.

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From: Benjamin Lyon
To: Dave Ryan
Subject: Let's Post this conversation on PTG

The College World Series has a round robin format and a best of 3 format which is a lot more fair – but the College World Series is a minor event (except to Ted) shown on ESPN 2 while CBS just paid a billion dollar to show the Tournament so they would never institute any changes; the NCAA likes to act as if it’s so pure compared to college bowl games but they eat out of the trough of corporate cash like anybody else – and who loses in the end: Bucky the Badger that’s who

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From: Dave Ryan
To: Benjamin Lyon
Subject: RE: Sorry about yesterday

Yeah, it really does make the last few games of the season completely meaningless. When Wisconsin lost those two games (immediately after being ranked #1), no one cared at all, except about losing the rank. We were already guaranteed a high seed in the tourney, so what’s the difference.

I think the real issue is that the regular seasons should serve to separate out the cream that gets to play in the tourney, which works in places like the NFL where only a few teams get a birth. In the NCAA it works in theory because there are like 4000 teams, but there are really only a few dozen contenders, so they all make it.

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From: Benjamin Lyon
To: Dave Ryan
Subject: RE: Sorry about yesterday

It’s exciting for the same reason it’s unfair in that it doesn’t reward the 4 month regular season at all – American sports should copy English soccer which has a one and done tournament and a separate league season

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From: Dave Ryan
To: Benjamin Lyon
Subject: RE: Sorry about yesterday

Yeah, but it’s so f’n exciting, I love it.

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From: Benjamin Lyon
To: Dave Ryan
Subject: RE: Sorry about yesterday

The tournament is too harsh – one loss and you’re out. 64 losers out of 65 teams – I much prefer football’s bowl system where plenty of teams can end their season with a win

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From: Dave Ryan
To: Benjamin Lyon
Subject: RE: Sorry about yesterday

Yeah, it was rough. I had to miss the last few minutes to get on a plane, and I assumed they were going to pull it out. Then I got off the plane and heard some kids talking about how they lost.

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From: Benjamin Lyon
To: Dave Ryan
Subject: Sorry about yesterday

Now Badger fans can spend the rest of their lives wondering what could have been if their center hadn’t broken his elbow – brutal

Spring Training Round-up

I've been hitting the MLBTV pretty hard this spring, and here are a few observations from around baseball:

Rich Harden is impressive.

I watched him pitch for the first time ever, and he tickled the upper reaches of the radar gun, regularly popping 97 mph. He's been injury prone but always full of potential (or so I'd heard until the other day, and for a strange and inexplicable analysis of his mechanics, see this Hardball Times article). His slider looked as good as Brad Lidge's used to, and as mentioned his heat is remarkable. He wasn't touched by the Rockies (9K, 2 hits, 1 run). I will say that late into his short start, he got a bit gimpy with his control, rendering his stuff less effective. Other than that, however, he's a regular horse.

The broadcasters (NL Rockie guys) compared Harden to Roy Oswalt, because each are shortish and great pitchers. But Oswalt never had 97 mph gas like Harden does, and he sports a big curveball, not a sharp Lidge-like slider.


Carlos Lee is a hitter.

Homer that I may be, Carlos Lee can swing the stick. He hit his first homer of Spring Training today, a bomb to left field off of admittedly past-his-not-even-that-amazing-prime Joe Mays. That was only after he rapped a solid line drive single up the middle off of Bret Tomko earlier in the game. He's getting the bat head on the ball in very quick time, and showing the bat speed that earns someone a gujillion beans a year. As an Astros fan, I'm psyched to have two superior bats in the lineup. (Same goes for Derrek Lee, by the way).

Biggest Surprise

Jeff Samardzija would appear to be the real deal on the mound. He throws a lot harder than I thought he did, and he had that sort of presence you would expect from a high-level college player. Nothing out of control, nothing particularly undisciplined. His secondary pitches were decent around a sinking fastball, and that will likely be where he spends his energies in the minors. I was astounded to see how good he looked, and I'm not talking about the hair.

Brian McCann's swing was carved out of sweet butter.

When I see McCann hit, I think of those great long, beautiful left-handed swings, like a younger Shawn Green or Roy Hobbs. It's just about the opposite of Derek Jeter's inside out number.
But he gets it around, and I predict continued good hitting.

Final Note

I will say that, while watching a few Cubs games, I had a very strange feeling. Wow, I thought, this is a good lineup. Soriano, Murton, Aramis, Lee, Jones, Floyd. That's an admirable bunch.

What in the name of all things holy??

How old is this man??

According to OSU's player page, he's nineteen years old. Dear Sweet Lord, what were Greg Sr. and Zoe feeding their little boy? Plutonium? For a little perspective, I, a comfortable 23, have not yet developed the ability to grow hair on 90% of my face.

His nickname is "Grandpa," so this is by no means an original thought on my part, but nonetheless, I think it would behoove all of us to sit back and reflect on the fact that Star Trek predicted genetically altered supermen would one day walk among us, and that does indeed seem to be coming to pass.

Fortunately, they seem to age at an incredibly advanced rate, so the risk of them taking over the world is lessened.

Link-O-Rama

Baseball? I don't know about all of that.

For those preparing for the NCAA tournament check out my new BFF: Al Featherston. If you have no interest in Duke Basketball simply scroll down using either:

- your mouse
- the down arrow key
- that bar thing on the right side of your screen

Any sporting event featuring a former cast member of TV's "Hang Time" is really the best thing ever.

Boy am i excited!

College basketball huh? I don't know about all that jazz.

But I just threw down for a brand new paperback version of Baseball Between the Numbers by the good people at Baseball Prospectus.

I'm already confused by EqA and WARP and what-not, but I'm about to find out whether Barry Bonds is better than Babe Ruth! And whether or not sacrifice bunts matter?!?

There's no better way to celebrate the Rites of Spring than with complex mathematics and probability! Exclamation point!

When Mediocre Sports Columnists Start Blogging...

Richard Justice is not a great writer, but he was, within the conservative confines of a bad big city newspaper's sports section (The Houston Chronicle), bearable.

My point is, over at the Chronicle they gave Justice a blog, and it's a complete nightmare. The shackles of print have been cast off, and now Justice rants like a twelve-year-old about how awful fans are, how you should root for the guy whose value you are too dumb to comprehend, and how Vince Young died and came back to life three days later.

In his latest odd diatribe, he ventures this nugget:

The truth is, friends, that the people who've already decided that Hunter Pence should be on the team and that Chris Burke (or anyone else) should be benched are complete idiots.

Case closed, Richard (and I'm saying your name like Chris Farley in Tommy Boy). I'm glad that the Internet has opened up this level of discourse, and that you're no longer forced to assume a halfway maturated readership. MySpace!!

I think the prevailing opinion (on the Chronicle staff, anyway) is that the blogosphere is a good place to stir up controversy. So its writers throw out stuff like "complete idiots" in hopes of rattling the cage. That's understandable, in a weird way.

The result, however, is not a rousing debate. The result is a creepy melange of crap from a guy that I envision sitting up at 3 a.m. in his undies in a motel room in Milwaukee, working his damndest to find a controversial topic. I mean, sheesh, how does the debate about Chris Burke and Hunter Pence in center for the Astros require the use of "idiot" at all? They are two mediocre (thus far) players about whom no one knows what the final verdicts will be. That would be like berating an old lady at Foxwoods for dropping a nickel in the slots.

"Nice move, Gladys! Sure, I'm just a dumb old sportswriter who doesn't know that the Pirates' Cove machine over there in the corner is paying out at 1,000,000 to 1 and this crap here is at 1,500,000! Idiot!"

Clearly, the blogosphere is much better off in my hands.

***update***

Justice has just filed a blog entry in which he leaves Chris Burke completely off of his mock opening day lineup. A strange turn-around, and yes I did quote Emerson in the comment I left, thanks for asking.

Your Sunday Afternoon Suggested Reading

On this most holy of all sporting days - check out this article

my cousin and I were at the game where Western won the Southern Conference championship and watched every minute of the Purdue game (I still remember those two shots bouncing off the rim) - it seemed unlikely then that this story would continue on for so long and have such a deep and meaningful conclusion

A Point of Reflection: 2006 MLB Player Salary Review

Some Good:

Dan Uggla: 27 HR, 90 RBI, .282 BA, $327,000.

Nick Swisher: 35 HR, 95 RBI, OBP .372, $335,000.

Travis Hafner: 42 HR, 117 RBI, OBP .439 (!), $ 2,700,000.

Justin Morneau: .321 BA, 34 HR, 130 RBI, MVP Award (!), $385,000.

Adam LaRoche, 32 HR, 90 RBI, .285 BA, $420,000.

Some Bad:

Mike Hampton: 0 IP, $14,503,543.

Jeff Bagwell: 0 AB, $19,369,019.

Chan Ho Park: 7-7, 4.81, 136 IP, $15,505,142.

Kerry Wood, 1-2, 19.7 IP, $12,000,000.

Some Ugly:

Jesus Freaks storm NCAA Tournament - Jesus "lukewarm" to idea

NCAA Tournament Preview Team 1:

Oral Roberts Golden Eagles

Chances of Pulling Upset in the First Round: Low - Although senior back court could cause problems

Chant I just created: Get your Tutt on!!

Important Procedural Note: Oral Roberts will be having a Selection Sunday Viewing Party tomorrow. Fans are advised to enter through the southeast security entrance of Mabee Center only!!

Direction of this post: It started ironically but after searching through their history now I want these guys to do well; people who root against Oral Roberts like Iron & Wine and all I know is I hate fucking Iron & Wine

Feinstein piles on/makes trenchant points

John Feinstein has chosen to discuss his Alma mater Duke

as is his way he makes some good and some ridiculous points - I started out hating the article and end up loving it, especially the Denny's part I didn't care for the part where Donny dies but I happen to know a little Lebowski is on the way I guess that's how the endless circle of life keeps perpetrating itself

Post-Script 1: Feinstein has been at odds with Duke since Krysweski's friend was chosen over his friend to become Athletic Director

Post-Script 2: Apparently some teams don't suck at basketball this year - I'll deal with them shortly

You Know Who I Really Hate?

This man:

No, not Joe Torre, though I'm not exactly a big fan of his, either (we all know he's hung A-Rod out by the short-and-curlies in the media). No, I'm talking about Mr. Living Legend, 94 on the fastball, headhunter of his own son, Captain 348, Roger "The Rocket" Clemens.

Oh, let me count the ways.

1. What in God's name is on his head? Is that a University of Texas cap? You can't afford a fitted hat on your $22 million dollar pro-rated annual salary, Roger? Way to be diplomatic about it, though.

2. "Just visiting as a friend and a fan," Roger tells the media, almost as if he is surprised at their interest. Don't worry, he tells us, his agents are visiting as friends and fans, too.

3. I do not understand Clemen's apparent obsession with dominating the baseball news cycle until at least June, every goddamn year. He feeds it to the media like popcorn. "Got a sound bite for us today, Rocket?" "No, fellas, you know that I'm 98.6% retired! I'm never coming back to baseball, I'm tired and I'm hanging up my guns. There's no way in hell I'm coming back unless one of the four teams that I am geographically or historically associated with is in a pennant race, and what are the odds of that?? Almost nil!"

4. I give everyone 1 free "Get Out of Retirement" card before labeling them douchebags forever. We all regret Michael Jordan's Wizard years (he gets a free pass on the first one because his father died), but nobody is perfect and I can understand how life might be even more different away from the game than players can know. But when you come back, stay back, play, and shut the hell up until you're gone again, this time for good. This will be Roger's 22nd unretirement (because that's his number, get it???), and as far as I'm concerned, his act is worn out.

5. SI.com's John Donovan recently wrote a great article which pretty much came out and said that Clemens is as much of a horse's ass as he is a pitcher. We all know that he was given special privileges, allowed to spend some road trips at home with his family, and granted his wish to skip Spring Training entirely, take his circus to Round Rock, and finally begin his season on--you guessed it, look at that!--June 22nd. This is all well and good, until we find out that on some of his special off days, Clemens wasn't helping anybody with their math homework, he was golfing. Astros: playing, Clemens: golfing.

6. I was going to get all the way to 22 reasons, but you know what, fuck it.

My colleague (and hardcore 'Stros fan) Theodore and I have had it out over Clemens on several occasions, and I am pleased that he is not an apologist the way San Franciscans are with Bonds. It's frustrating to have one man dominate and overshadow the far more noble contributions of Lance Berkman, uber-hitter, and Roy Oswalt, who goes about his business and wins far more games than Clemens for less money, and he sits with his team on road trips.

I think it is ridiculous and pathetically selfish to manipulate fans through the media the way Clemens does. It's cliche, but truly, no one is bigger than the team or the game, and nobody wears a Roger Clemens cap to bed at night, which is really the only cap I can see the man wearing into Cooperstown. When he does get into the Hall of Fame on the first ballot, I will make every effort to put a booger on his plaque.

In the mean time, I hope he unretires with the Yankees, so he can keep his sickening 2.30 ERA out of the National League and the Central.

"I think he'll pitch again. If I had to guess, I'd say he will." -- Jeet, precognitive
"I think he once he gets that itch, he might choose to play again." -- Andy Pettitte, Roger's pet hamster
"I have to get back up to speed," said Clemens. "I'm not at the point to be competitive and to get the job done. I've had enough word from teammates where it does sound appealing, though."

PLEASE!

Rating the superhunks of sportswriting

Al Featherston is an amazing sportswriter - who crafts lucid, intelligent, balanced pieces

Gregg Doyel is a hack who makes most deadspin commenters look like Grantland Rice

Featherston is largely a figure known only in the southeast and writes for small publications - Doyel is a national figure with a column on cbssportline.com (not linked but just google "flaming crap pile")

to me it doesn't really seem fair until you realize that Doyel almost assuredly have never been laid

I'm Psychic

This blog has been up for three days and already my predictions are starting to come true. Sort of. By which I mean that they are sort of predictions, not that they are only sort of coming true. Well, I guess I mean both.

Horacio Ramirez owned Sammy Sosa today:

[Sosa] is 2-for-5 with four strikeouts in his career against Ramirez in games that count. But one of those hits is a home run. That is what Ramirez, a former Atlanta Braves pitcher, remembers.

"In 2003. Wrigley Field. Cutter in. Game right before the All-Star break," Ramirez said -- not that he recalls much about it.

Har har, thanks for the editorializing at the end there Gregg Bell, AP Sportswriter.

It appears as though the clash that I predicted for April 15, tax day, has had it's first prelim. Bionic Horacio: 1. Flawed but Resilient Sosa: infinity minus infinity

My Childhood as a Tennis Prodigy

This article in the New York Times a couple of days ago reminds me of my childhood growing up in Brookfield, being relentlessly conditioned for international tennis dominance.

Tonight on the ESPN Family of Networks

8:00 p.m. - live action of UNC team managers washing the blood out of Tyler Hansbrough's jersey.

8:30 p.m. on ESPNU - the male UNC cheerleaders who were so enraged over the foul the broke Hansbrough's nose last night form a vigilante group to fight injustice throughout the world. Join them tonight as they lead cheers in the Anbar province of Iraq.

Sammy Sosa has earned his charisma

Sammy Sosa has returned after a 2006 season spent power-jogging along the crests of snowy Russian mountains with a log on his shoulders. He cut down the tree himself, and single-handedly operated a two-man handsaw to craft the log, with appropriately spaced hand-holes. He also wrestled with a Russian bear every Tuesday morning, and rinsed his mouth with vodka before bed each night (at 7 p.m.)




Incidentally, Seattle's nearly bionic Horacio Ramirez has been training under the strict supervision of a team of scientist-fascists in preparation for his clash with Sosa somewhere around April 15. Sosa will be paying the taxes...of his life and career!

I'm out

Duke Lost
Elon Lost
usually the month of March does not inflict it's crippling strike upon me until the the third week - March 1 is a new record

I hate fucking sports from now on this blog is a countdown anticipating the release of Transformers the Movie